Fall Constellations

Fall Constellations!

Hello and happy Virgo, Libra, and Scorpio seasons, friends and colleagues! We have so much exciting news to share with you all as we continue to get into a more regular rhythm with our quarterly newsletter.

🎉 Constellation Celebrations 🎉

Last issue we were so thrilled to announce the pilot of our inaugural Parent Learning Series for parents and other adult supporters/loved ones of trans young folks, and now we are celebrating its successful launch and reception! Early feedback indicates that attendees found the sessions resourceful and left them feeling more confident as allies to the trans community. As a result, we will continue making this series available every February, April, and October for the foreseeable future.

To build clinical community and broaden/deepen our reciprocal referral network, we are also hosting a get-together for clinicians next Friday, November 8, from 9:30-11:00 at Loaves and Witches. It's a BYOBuddy situation (though you can totally bring yourself) so come out and support a fantastic new establishment in the Edgewater community and make some new professional friends! Registration will help us report accurate numbers to the fine folks at Loaves and Witches. Hope to see you there!

🌅 On the Horizon 🌅

We are still seeking interested parties for a virtual support group for LGBTQ+ educators seeking community connections, tools, and resources. In January we will launch a pilot cycle of hour-long monthly meetings through May for $60 (comes to $12/session). Please share the above interest survey with folks within your network who might benefit from this space.

🌠 Interstellar Connections 🌠

Fall and winter are a time. You might appreciate this new life the leaves are living, some fresh snow, and the fact that hot chocolate feels almost obligatory, but that isn’t all these seasons bring. The sun goes away. Chicago’s cold gets deep into your bones. You might feel compelled to go to gatherings with people who you are, at best, willing to nod across a room at. 

Maybe you love this time. Maybe you’re ready to take the paper bag marked “FALL” out of the closet, and put it on your head. You do you. 

Whatever your seasonal orientation, we're laying out some ways we talk about managing this transitional moment with clients at Constellation. We hope they make your entry into the cold times a little better too. So if you are:

Caregiving for a young person

• For elementary school children: provide structure within the chaos, even if it’s just writing out the things they can expect to happen each day

• For middle school and high school children: ask your young person what they need to be okay during the extended breaks, and negotiate a plan that is feasible for your family

• If the rigidity the structure and rigidity of school tend to overwhelm your young person, give them the latitude to rest, reset, and bring a little chaos and self-stimulation into their life

Someone who cares about/for an LGBTQ+ young person

• Use the correct pronouns, and if you don’t know, ask: “I just want to check – what pronouns should I be using for you?”

• You want to connect and show support; we get it. But, don’t ask about or comment on personal things like bodies, gender presentation, or romantic relationships unless the young person explicitly brings them up first

• Be an interested adult in their life – they are so much more than their LGBTQ+ identity, so ask them about: books they’re reading, video games they’re playing, their hobbies/clubs, shows they’re watching, etc

In college and going to your bio-family’s home for the holidays

• Be ready to feel like you are regressing back to a teen – systems are powerful, and it is hard to break out of the role you were in for approximately two decades

• Schedule time out of the house with people who know and love you as you are

• Don’t be afraid to kindly and firmly name what you need to feel okay during this time, and then take those actions

An LGBTQ+ adult

• Ask for what you need from your chosen or found family – there’s a good chance they want to be there for you

• Build your own traditions to bring your people together in ways that feel good

• Remember there is no one way to do the holidays. Don’t buy into Big Hallmark

A person with a chronic illness

• Put your health first – the zeitgeist might be telling you to take one for the team, but the team doesn’t have to lay on the couch for three days after overextending themselves 

• Be upfront about your needs: if mobility is a challenge in the winter, tell your friends you want to see them,  AND tell them about the constraints you’re working with

• Set boundaries: if someone wants to tell you all the ways you can magically heal yourself and you’re not into it, feel free to say: “Thanks for thinking of me, but I’ve got it covered,” and walk away. You are allowed to walk away. 

Neurodivergent adult

• Safeguard your foundational routines/rhythms – you created them for a reason, and you deserve the peace that they bring

• Conversely: flex when you want to; this is a time of year with lots of special events and novelty. You get to decide how much to make decisions for future you vs. present you. Both versions are important

• Use your tools – headphones, fidgets, comfy clothes, whatever you need. It’s not your job to make someone else comfortable at an event. Do what you need to enjoy the space

Someone who struggles with perfectionism 

• Consider whether you want to engage in New Year’s resolutions – you can be a thoughtful and intentional person while taking a pass on this ritual

• Be a scientist: if you set an intention, consider it an experiment. You’re just gathering data

• Consider intentionally setting a goal where you can practice “failing.” Sometimes we need to see that things will not be lost if we hold our expectations loosely

Anyone

• Take a moment to notice what’s happening in your body, and try to move towards people/events/activities that keep you in your skin

• Breaks. Lots of them. Small ones. Long ones. Tall ones. Whatever you can find

• If things are feeling tough, reach out to a friend or your friendly neighborhood therapist. Living is a team sport

✨Constellation’s Constellations✨

Throughout November, Evanston Public Library and Wilmette Public Library are jointly hosting Queer Aid, a series of virtual workshops dedicated to the legal and mental wellness of the LGBTQIA+ community. Some of these workshops include: Examining Harmful Dynamics in Queer Relationships, Strengthening LGBTQ+ Youth, Safer Sex for ALL, Name Change 101, and Alzheimer’s and Dementia in the LGBTQ+ Community.

Lighthouse Foundation is hosting an exclusive evening of healing and empowerment for Black LGBTQ+ Nonprofit employees, board members, and C-Suite leaders via their Black Queer Equity Index Happy Hour.

Youth Services’ Pride Youth Program has a number of events over the next several months that benefit LGBTQ+ youth and their family, several of which that are planned and run by youth members of the prideLEAD program.

Center on Halsted’s Youth and Family Services Department is hosting an Open House for youth up to age 24, as well as any educators, parents, GSA advisors/sponsors, or program staff who works with LGBTQ+ youth who are interested in learning more about their programs.

Researchers at the University of Virginia and the University of Illinois Chicago are conducting a research study to explore youth, family, and provider perceptions and experiences of mental health support or services in school and after-school settings. The study is currently enrolling adult professionals who work with youth in school or after-school settings. The study involves completing a one-on-one interview via Zoom and a brief demographic survey. Participation should take approximately 45-60 minutes. Participants will receive $25 for study completion in the form of a virtual Visa gift card. If you are interested in supporting this research study, email Nat for more information.